> From New York: Home of the Cannes film festival ... it's
   THE TOP TEN LIST for Tuesday, May 23, 1995.  And now, a man
   who is a surgeon and a general ... David Letterman!
  
 > From the home office in Sioux City, Iowa ...
  
 TOP TEN SIGNS THE N.Y.P.D. IS OUT OF CONTROL
  
 10. Besides handcuffs, officers carrying chains & leather whips
  
  9. Many have appeared on both "Cops" & "America's Most Wanted"
  
  8. Emptying service revolvers into donut racks to see which
     ones have jelly
  
  7. They drive around Wall St. in a Sherman tank, shooting
     accountants in the ass
  
  6. We're 20 games into the season and they still haven't arrested
     a single N.Y. Met
  
  5. Instead of sirens, squad cars now blaring John Tesh
  
  4. From the back, they all look like Ebert
  
  3. Any chance they get, they take off clothes and do push-ups
     (video clip of naked Jimmy Smits doing push-ups)
  
  2. They spend most of their time frisking themselves
  
  1. Goodbye, uniforms -- hello, Batman outfits!
  
      [Music: "I Can't Stand Losing You" by the Police]
  
  
 Compiled by Sue Trowbridge
  
           ----------------------------------------
                LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN
                11:35 p.m. ET/PT (10:35 CT/MT)
                on the CBS Television Network
           ----------------------------------------
  
              On Wednesday's show, Dave welcomes
  
              ...actor BILLY CRYSTAL
              ...sportscaster MARV ALBERT
              ...musician MATTHEW SWEET
  
  
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