Warning: the following contains some  computer humor.



We are Microsoft.      Resistance is futile.     You will be
assimulated.

Be nice to your kids.  They'll choose your nursing home. 

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder... 

3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't. 
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word? 

Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.

...Every morning is the dawn of a new error... 

For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord. 

I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead. 

Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay. 

Madness takes its toll.  Please have exact change. 

There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full. 

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? 

If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished! 

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can
find a rock.

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown
too?

It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere. 

If you only knew how naive you are... 

Budget: A method for going broke methodically. 

Car service:  If it ain't broke, we'll break it. 

Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark. 

Department of Redundancy Department 

Headline: Bear takes over Disneyland in Pooh D'Etat! 

Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted. 

COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key 

2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2. 

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes. 

Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are. 

<-------- The information went data way --------> 

BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding

The name is Baud......, James Baud. 

Access denied--nah nah na nah nah! 

Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay.. 

Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!" 

Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope) 

Backups? We don' *NEED* no steenking backups. 

.. File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N) 

Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny 

CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted:  Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/n)? 

24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence? 

Windows: Just another pane in the glass. 

Windows: The only 20 MB virus.

Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk? 

DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors

Smash forehead on keyboard to continue..... 

Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue... 

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI! 

E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage. 

Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!! 

Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue. 

"640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981 

Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE! 

Press any key to continue or any other key to quit... 

Excuse me for butting in, but I'm interrupt-driven. 

Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N) 

Read my chips: No new upgrades! 

Hit any user to continue.

2400 Baud makes you want to get out and push!! 

I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control! 

Will the information superhighway have any rest stops? 

Disk Full - Press F1 to belch.

Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (T)hrowup 

Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic 

(A)bort, (R)etry, (T)ake down entire network? 

(A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer? 

If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming
must be the process of putting them in.

Programmers don't die, they just GOSUB without RETURN. 

Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing 
with inanimate objects.

Real programmers don't document.  If it was hard to write, it
should be hard to understand

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