"Healthy Cigarettes"

Chine inventor Pu Danming recently claimed he had sold 50000 of the "healthy
cigarettes" that he introduced in Beijing in November.  The product is a
cigarillo-sized tube containing Chinese herbs plus a small battery and
microchip and a dozen other components, but no tobacco.  The cigarette is
not lighted; rather, when the "smoker" takes a puff, a light flashes on the
end ot imitate a burning ash.  Also, the cigarette plays a patriotic song
when puffed on, and, said Pu, "The mixture of herbs is also good against
cancer."


"Fumbling Funderburks"

U.S. Rep. David Funderburk, R-N.C., pleaded no contest to a minor traffic
charge in Dunn, N.C., in October, despite the fact that he continued to deny
that he was the one driving when his car crossed the center line and caused
an oncoming van to veer off and overturn.  Witnesses said Funderburk was
driving, but when the Funderburk car returned to the scene several minutes
later, Funderburk was in the passenger seat, and his wife was driving.  (One
witness said she actually saw the Funderburks change seats).  Furthermore,
in a slip-up at a subsequent news conference, Mrs. Funderburk described
damage to the car as only to "her" side, the "passanger" side (but she
quickly "corrected" herself).


"Amazing Insemination"

In November, the Arkansas Supreme Court rejected the argument of Erwin Davis
(who once ran for governor of the state) that he was not the father of a boy
born in 1990.  A paternity test showed a 99.65 percent likelihood Davis was
the father, but Davis accused the boy's mother of breaking into his house,
stealing a used condom and inseminating herself.


"Salmonella as a Dietary Aid"

A restaurant owner in Edinburgh, Scotland, was unsuccessful in his judicial
appeal of Karen McInulty's judgment against him.  McInulty, 29, had won
about $7700 in damages after eating salmonella-infected chicken curry at the
restaurant; the restauranteur had afgued that McInulty was overweight at the
time and thus that the 21 pounds she lost after being hospitalized actually
helped her.


"Innocent by Reason of Role Playing"

In January, Lori Collison, 30, charged with robbing three stores in Toronto,
Ontario, in 1994, was found not criminally responsible because of a mental
disorder.  According to psychiatrist Hy Bloom, Collison thought she was
making a screen test at the time and was playing the role of a person
robbing the three stores.


"I'm Wearing Them for Someone"

In February in Madison, Wis., during a routine serach of Leonard Hodge, 22,
who had been arrested for failure to carry a driver's license, police found
cocaine in his underwear.  According to a police spokesman, Hodge attempted
to exculpate himself by saying the undershorts he was wearing were not his.


"Procrastinating a Promise"

During the summer of 1995, Philip Morris ran newspaper ads promising to
crack down on retailers that sell cigarettes to kids.  In October,
responding to a helpful list of such retailers in Minnesota sent to the
company by the state attorney general, Philip Morris declined to act on it. 
The company still intended to crack down, said vice president Ellen Merlo,
but "We didn't say starting today."


"A Skid Free Hanging"

The Washington Post reported in January that, in their preparation of the
outdoor gallows for the first death-row hanging in 50 years (for convicted
murderer Billy Bailey), workers at the Delaware Correctional Center affixed
non-skid safely strips to each of the 23 steps up.


--The previous has been brought to you by The Weekender newspaper.